-- My Secret World Of Nonsense

Ben is finally free to blog, it is not like i'm really that busy with my life but more of lazy to blog and want to do something else that he deems is more important :P

there is like a roller coster of events that is happening in my mind right now there is much to blog but so little time and the feeling of laziness is one freaking big obstacle that i've to overcome.

i guess i shall start from the sentosa event i went together with kenneth to meet the rest of my other friends who have already gathered and enjoying themself under the hot sun. some were sun-tanning, others were floating in the water :P i wanted to enjoy myself there but due to the fact that we reach there late and they have to go off like pretty early i had no mood to like really engage in any of the activites happening there. i brought everything from my house, including towels and extra shirt and pants but!!! i forget to bring extra UNDIES! so what was the point of bringing the other stuff. i cant go walking ard town after that with soaking wet undies. lucky for my at sentosa beach near cafe delmar, the fucking place that i wanted to work at.. but that is not the point, there are many hotties there, i wore my contact lens and wear dark shades to cover my ever wandering eyes. :x the hot sun felt so good but i hate being super tanned such irony. i hate it cause i get tanned easily and in no time i would look like a charcoal. such a bummer. i saw this suuuuuuuuuuper hot hot hot one.. Awww!! my eyes almost popped out. my mind was like "I WAN I WAN" haha. such a despo.. ><" too bad not a singaporean. =(

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i met up with huihui... i super miss her lo. it's been sometime since i last saw her, she hasn't been appearing around cineleisure much.. i was together with michelle (laopo) and garrick.. shuhui wanted to get some box to store 1314 heartshaped straws.. she is such a sweetheart, i admire her straight-forwardness, boldness and courage. regardless of the odds, she stands fast and brave them. we went from places to places, except for cineleisure and in the end we went to plaza singapura and there she found the suitable box and agenda of the day was acheived. yay! ^^

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nowadays i'm feeling so lost and sad. i've so called lost my 2nd home. what was initially my plan to celebrate my birthday there, has now become bits and pieces of a broken dream. everyweek end i'm lost of plans, at least in the past thursday and friday i could go down to support mummy's performance at whynot, now everyday of the week seems so free, free until i have no idea what to do anymore.. friday and saturday could go down for clubbing and i can no longer hear whynot songs in club anymore. no more of line dancing already and no more socialising at whynot. all those have seems so distance to me already as it has already been 2 weeks. but i still can't get used to it. it has been very very long time since i last went down to maxwell, i miss that place, no more club hopping from play to whynot.. it is just play now and play is so crowded it is so totally no mood.

on the day whynot closed, it was a blast, not that i'm happy about it but the crowd there was awesome, it was something i haven't seen in a long long time. those regulars were there and almost everybody were there, it was super packed, there was the last performance at whynot and weijie dragged for the first time, and he looked good.. :) hot already lo.. then there was whynot bosses' last few words and it was clubbing till 3 am.

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Jeannie and i met up with garrick for the NDP preview, garrick happen to have the NDP tickets we went there only for 1 thing, and it is not the show but for the fireworks. we sat throught the entire thing but only to find out there was no fireworks i was like wtfish~! we sat through all the thing but no fireworks, we were disappointed but nevertheless, we enjoyed each other's company and it doesn't matter if there is fireworks or not but if there was it would have been WONDERFUL! ^^

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Next on the list is my aunty's baptism.. it was a sunday, it has been sometimes since i last saw my grandmother and my cousins.. i pushed aside all events lined up for me just for this day. i knew i had to have my piorities straight. family is definetely more important than the world. i went to church of singapore and my brother wanted to go to the toilet and me together with my 2 other cousins followed him and there we saw a minature toilet, omg it was so cute like something like alice in wonderland kind of feeling. it was the children toilet.. don't worry pictures will be included. the bad thing is the cubicles have no doors therefore those notti horny little boys get to see the little girls.. poor thing. :P

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so recently my clique has been very enthu about dota aka defeats of the ancients. it is like such an ancient game which is still living on till now, talking about long shelf life. so there was this day went to joe's house for a game of dota and there was this FHM magazine, the girls in that issue were quite loser, not even that hot and a turn on.. however there were advertised products which turned me on, which adds on to my list of wants is a CKJ watch with photo attached! :D

Last..__ ^^ *phew*

i accompanied kenneth to have his hair cut at gibbs salon near my house, the wait was super long and while waiting i browsed the magazines as i was thinking of having a savvy haircut soon, pleasant looking yet not common and happen to chance upon a few features i wish i could include in my customized hairstyle. i'm just afraid the pieces on it's on looks good but will not fit well together and the worst is it doesnt fit me at all. well below are the pictures.. ^^

i like the tail. i wan!

Above are just some of the events over the long period of absence from my blog, currently ben is undergoing a change, even he himself is unsure why he wants this change and even if this change is a good or bad thing. ben has always tried to keep things to himself, things he heard and see and things are bottling up, it is not like ben can't cope with stress but who loves stress? i believe everybody could live well without stress and stress could bring about alot of health relating problems.

ben is hardly ever like someone and when he does, he is always in for a roller coaster of final destination, the stupid thing ben does and even though of doing now looking back seems so foolish. ben has a new wish, he wans to be stronger he doesn't wants to be played he wants to live his own life without liking nobody. ben wans to keep low now.. he wans to stay at home after school, hang around with his other friends, taking a time off.

With time off from so much things, ben has more time for himself and he is very happy about it..

- ben can sleep early before 12.

- ben can do his school stuff like his professional profiling and final year project.

- ben can save money and money is very important to ben.

- ben can go to the gym. *ben loves it*

- ben can spend more time with my other friends before i join the circle.

- ben can please his parents and make them happy.

- ben hear less politics and hope and prays that politics will not come and find me. i just want to be a normal person..

Ben now is tired already.. as said by mummy

- !*joJO*! - : ~ ♥ ~ ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ whAt i alSo WaNt ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ ~ ♡ ~ says (4:01 PM):
jus that the process of liking is like hell...
- !*joJO*! - : ~ ♥ ~ ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ whAt i alSo WaNt ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ ~ ♡ ~ says (4:02 PM):
u donno wat the other party really thinking

which ben totally agree. ben feels he had tried to give my best and in the end he feels he isn't getting what he wants. ben believes in pointbreak when anything reaches over it's limit it will snap. ben misses him alot, places him in first piority, making every effort to see him, but ben feels that he doesn't even give a hoot. ben doesn't know what he is thinking if he really wants ben or... ben always feel like smsing him, checking how he is doing have he eaten and if he was ok, but in the end ben feels it is better to give him some space incase he feels that i'm an irritant. ben wants to hugg him as and when he likes but he can't because he doesn't even know his place in his heart and the thing is the public doesn't know about it. ben is tired of such a relationship.

is it so hard to find someone you love and love you as much as you do. if he could love me as much as i love him, i'll be really happy. ^^

Below is something kenneth ask me to put in my blog. dunno wad is it some flash thing well you can give it a try..

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Pictures.___